病魔纏身。。。

上星期二，無端端的喉嚨發炎。原本以爲普通的喉嚨痛而已，所以就沒有怎樣的照顧。哪裏知道，隔天立刻不能説話。連吃食物都出了問題。好久沒有生病了。原來，我對生病這兩個只是那麽的陌生。

那天發高燒。體溫升到38.5度。真的是嚇壞了我自己。好久好久沒發高燒。真的好痛苦啊！一整天都迷迷糊糊，懵懵懂懂好辛苦啊！好不容易熬過了一天，原本以爲就好了。。原來慘劇現在才開始。。。

隔了一個星期，仍然發燒。雖然是輕微的發燒，可是，弄得我整個人沒精神，頭很痛。。。時好時坏，我自己都不知道該怎麽辦！到底幾時才會真正的好呀！！

掌心的紋真的寫了人一生中的命運嗎？

還記得小時候，常常會聽到別人說要去算命，要講什麽大師之類的。縂覺得很奇怪，爲什麽要去算命？人的日子，不是應該活一天，過一天嗎？爲什麽要知道自己往後的命運呢？知道了又怎樣？不知道又怎樣？難道知道了就可以改嗎？難道大師說要一命換一命，也要照樣做嗎？

很久很久以前，記得朋友看過我的手掌，然後告訴我，在我的手掌上，有兩條線是沒有相連的。因此，我和家人的關係不會很好。若這兩條線是相連，那麽和家人的關係就很好。那時候的我，因爲還小，而且又不相信這些東西，覺得沒有科學的證明，不能夠相信。反正，與家人的感情都很好。沒什麽很惡劣的事情發生。

到了現在，長大了，才漸漸的相信，命運，真的可能打從出娘胎就被這些細細的皺紋給定斷了。每當和家人有不愉快的時候，我總是會把自己的手掌，看了又看。然後，才知道，原來，我是那麽的痛恨自己的手掌。

難道真的是，人算不如天算嗎？

Vincent - Don McLean

這首歌，是從一部電視劇裏得知的。不知道爲什麽，自從聼了這首歌，每次感到傷心流淚時，這首歌，總會在耳邊慢慢的響起。然而，也把自己的心情變成更低落。不知道這代表了什麽。。。

Starry starry night paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills in colours on the snowy linen land

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity and how you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how perhaps they'll listen now

Starry starry night flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent's eyes of China blue
Colours changing hue morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain are smoothed beneath the artist's loving hand

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity and how you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you but still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight on that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do,
But I could have told you Vincent this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Starry starry night portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the stranger that you've met the ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose lies crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

And now I think I know what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity and how you tried to set them free
They would not listen they're not listening still perhaps they never will.